Frozen Comedy
by gladysnotw
Summary: Just a few drabbles of Spongebob scenes with the Frozen gang in them. This is NOT a story, and is just meant to be funny. I honestly don't know where I got the idea from, so don't ask! This is only meant for comedic purposes and not to be taken seriously! Enjoy! xD
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Don't ask about how I got this idea because I really don't know xD This is just meant to be funny, okay? Seriously, every Spongenbob episode reminds me of a good Frozen scene so I just made some that I thought fit perfectly with our Frozen gang. There is one scene that I got off Youtube and isn't from Spongebob. I OWN NOTHING BUT MY CREATIVITY! **

"I WIN! I WIN!" Hans yelled.

Anna blinked. "It's not about winning, it's about fun!"

Hans grimaced. "What's that?"

"Fun is when you- Fun is...it's like...it's kinda..._sorta_ like a- What is fun? I I..-Let me spell it for you." she smiled.

(Random music starts to play)

"_F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me!_" Anna sang.

Hans folded his arms and sighed.

_"N if or anywhere and any time at all.."_

Random choir, "Down here in Arendelle!"

Hans smirked. "_F is for fire that burns down the whole town! U's for uranium bombs. N is for no survivors WHEN YOU-!"_

_"_Hans! Those things aren't what fun is all about! Now, do it like this! _F is for friends who do stuff-"_

"Never. That's _completely_ idiotic." Hans frowned.

###

"I told you I'm never getting out of my room again." Elsa said, sternly.

"Never ever?" Anna asked.

"Never ever ever ever." Elsa replied.

"Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?!" Anna asked.

"Never ever ever ever ever ever never!"

"Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?"

Elsa sighed. "Never ever ever ever ever ever!"

"Never ever ever? Never ever? Ever? Ever? Ever? Ever? Ever?"

"GAH, ANNA THAT IS ENOUGH! Olaf, would you mind showing these two to the door?" Elsa groaned.

Olaf waddled over and opened the door for Anna and Kristoff. They walked out and Anna thanked him. The door closed and Kristoff shook his head, folding his arms.

Anna sighed. "I guess I'll have to find a new best friend... HEY, HANS?"

A door from one of the halls opened and Hans poked his head out. "NO."

"Aww..." Anna groaned.

"Don't worry, Anna. We'll show Elsa that there's nothing to be afraid of." Kristoff said.

"And, that's when I punch her, right?" Anna asked, smiling.

Kristoff frowned and gave her a look.

###

"KRISTOFF! KRIS_TOFF_!" Hans yelled from his bed.

Kristoff hurried with his lemonade and entered the rom.

"And, why aren't you in uniform?" Hans demanded.

Kristoff stepped out and returned with a maid's dress.

"It's about _time_ you got here!" Hans said, impatiently.

Kristoff handed him his lemonade. "Here you go, Your Majesty."

"I can't drink that!" Hans snapped.

"Why not?" Kristoff groaned.

"Are you _blind?_ Just _look_ at it!"

Kristoff stared at the lemon inside the cup and shrugged. "What about it?"

"That lemon has 3 seeds in it! That's an odd number! I can't eat anything odd numbered."

"Fine, I'll just take it out." Kristoff said, shoving his hand in the glass.

"No! NO! It's already been contaminated by a bad lemon! It won't _work_!" Hans yelled.

"Hmmm that's two things in this castle that _won't work_." Kristoff said, angrily.

"The, go fix that." Hans growled.

###

Hans and Elsa arrived at her prom and he took out her to-do list.

"Well, I guess the first thing we should do is-"

_Snap!_

"Yay! My first prom picture!" Elsa applauded.

"Ah, ah. _Our _first prom picture." Hans said smoothly, as he wrapped his arm around her.

She frowned and froze his arm, causing him to leap back in pain.

"Let's get this over with." she said, walking away.

###

"You can't marry a man you just met." Elsa said, firmly.

"You _can_ if it's true love." Anna said, with her arm clinked with Hans's arm.

"Anna, what do you know about true love?" Elsa sighed.

"But, I _love_ him." Anna insisted.

"You love him? You met him Sunday, it's barely Thursday. Slow down, crazy. Slow down." Elsa said.

"It's true love!" Anna yelled.

"Translation: 'Desperate. Desperate. I am really desperate.'" Elsa mocked.

###

Hans grabbed a guitar, as he sat in the dungeon of the Southern Isles and played.

"When I arrived..in Arendelle. I thought that I had everybody on my side. But, I went and blew it. All sky high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance. All just because I...ripped her heart."

Suddenly, Elsa, Kristoff and Anna appeared in the dungeon and sang along.

"_When big Elsa came 'round just to put him down, Prince Hans turned into a clown. And, no girl ever wants to be part of a fool who went and...broke her heart." _They sang.

_"I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse." Hans sang._

_"_'_Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun, than a frozen heart, or being cut apart."_

_"Now, I've learned a lesson I won't soon forget, so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance and you won't end up like the fool, who broke her heart...!"_

###

Stranded in a forest, Hans began to panic.

"Stuck on the middle of nowhere with Anna and Kristoff." he groaned, glancing at them.

They held hands and waved at him.

"Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?! WHY?!" he cried.

"Aw, don't worry, Hans. It could be worse." Anna said.

"Yeah, you could have red hair and long sideburns." Kristoff said.

Hans frowned. "Whelp, this is the end."

He fell onto the ground face-forward. Anna smiled.

"No, it's not, Hans." she said.

Kristoff stopped hammering their coffins at that. "It's not?"

###

**A/N: This isn't meant to make sense lol I hope to post more if I can think of anything else xD This is NOT a story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Anna sobs. "How long...how long have I been ugly, Hans?"

"As long as I can remember." he replied. "You poor ugly thing, you.

###

"Okay, I better open this can of paint." Kristoff said.

"It will never ever come off." Anna reminded him, nervously.

"And, if we get on anything else, Elsa will cut our butts off." Kristoff whimpered.

He bent down and used a screwdriver to open it. He wiggled it under the lid, as careful as he could.

"Careful, Kristoff. Careful, Kristoff. Careful, Kristoff. Careful, Kristoff." Anna said, loudly.

Kristoff began to sweat.

"Careful, Kristoff. Careful, Kristoff. Careful, Kristoff! Careful, Kristoff! CAREFUL, KRISTOFF!" Anna cried.

"Anna, the lid's already off." Kristoff said, calmly.

Anna sighed. "Oh. Now, it's my turn."

She took out a huge axe and slammed it ontop of another can of paint. Kristoff screamed and took the can from her.

"Wait, Anna! I think I better do this one too!"

###

"Wha-? Who said that? Was it _you_?" Rapunzel asked Anna, holding an ice cream cone.

"Tell her off, Anna. Assert yourself" Hans whispered to Anna.

"That's my ice cream cone." Anna smiled, pointing at Rapunzel's ice cream.

"Great, now let her have it!" Hans whispered.

"You can have it!" Anna said, smiling.

"Say, thanks!" Rapunzel squealed, walking away.

"NO!" Hans said.

###

"Now, I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five." Kristoff directed.

Anna jumped out of her seat and raised her hand. "Is this the part where we start kicking?"

Kristoff frowned. "No, Anna. That's a chorus line."

Hans stood up. "Kicking? I wanna do some kicking!"

He kicked Elsa behind her leg, making her gasp. She glared and turned to face him.

"Why, you..." she growled.

Then, they fought. He pulled her hair and she punched his jaw. They manuevered out the front door and their battle cries were heard from inside. Suddenly, Hans let out a huge scream. Everyone was silent, until he poked his head through the front door.

"Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on." he said.

Then, he stepped into the building, or more like, hopped inside. His whole body was frozen solid, with only his head popping out from his frozen statued body.

###

All 12 of Hans's brothers stood at the front of the castle doors of Arendelle, knocking. Hans hurried to open it and greet them.

"Hi, Klaus, Thomas, Matthew, Grant, Ethan, Dan, Dameon, Linus, Agner, Luis, Harold, and Hamish." he said, quickly.

Klaus, his oldest brother, smiled. "Hans! You recognized us this time!"

"Why wouldn't I recognize my own brothers?" Hans grimaced.

"You never were a bright one." Ethan, the second oldest, smirked.

Hans sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Well, aren't you going to show us inside?" Klaus asked.

"He probably forgot where it is." Matthew said.

Hans pointed inside. "Oh, I know where-"

"Whoa, hold on, let's all hold hands, so we don't get lost." Klaus said, taking Hans's hand.

All 12 brothers held hands, and snickered amongst each other. They entered the castle and stopped at the ballroom.

"Okay, now let go on three. One, two, three!" Ethan said.

"Good job!" Klaus laughed.

"Pats for Hans." all the brothers said in unison, as they patted him on the head.

"I'll go get the beverages." he said, walking away.

He came back with a tray full of glasses of cider. Klaus gasped and examined the glasses.

"Wow, little brother. You put the drinks _in _something this time!" he said.

Hans rolled his eyes, as Klaus put his arm around him.

"Ah, Hans, you must've been working all night to put this together for us." Klaus chuckled.

###

"C'mon, Oaken. Don't you have anything good?"Kristoff asked.

"Well, there is one thing I have saved for a real prank! Invisible spray!" he said, pulling out a can.

Kristoff took it and examined it. Anna looked at it too.

"Wow. Invisible spray!" Kristoff gasped.

"But, I can see it." Anna said.

###

Hans gasped as he saw a beautiful woman appear. She had platinum blonde hair and a blue gown on that shone under the sun light. He watched her form afar and wrote about her in his journal.

_What could her name be?_ he thought.

"Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to call her 'Mystery'." he said, as he wrote.

He paused. "Now that I think about it, she's also very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should call her 'Grace' or 'Majesty'...or Debbie!" he smiled.

###

"Look, Hans! We're saved! We're saved!" Kristoff yelled with joy.

"Sure, we're saved. Now, gimme some pizza!" Hans growled.

"No, really, Hans! We're saved! We're saved!" Kristoff sang.

"Would you _cut_that out?" Hans asked.

Kristoff started to sing and do push ups out of oure excitement. At this point, Hans thought that Kristoff had officially lost it.

"Yes, we are saved!" Kristoff said, running towards a large boulder.

"That's just a _stupid_ boulder!" Hans growled.

"It's not just a boulder." Kristoff sniffed. "It's a rock. A ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ock! A ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ock!"

Kristoff, then, climbed the large rock and sat ontop of it and wiped his tears.

"Oh, I might cry! Aw, the ice harvesters of old used to ride these babies for miles! And, it's in great shape!" he cried.

"Hey, Kris_toff_! Would you forget the stupid old ice harvesters! Haven't you noticed that there are none of them left?!" Hans asked.

###

Hans sat out in the royal garden and played with his bubble hat that he and Elsa had bought from Kristoff. Since it was worth so much to other bidders, Kristoff wanted it back.

"Hey, Hans, I'm going to need that hat back!" he said.

"But, you said I was born to wear this hat." Hans whined.

"Okay, look, I didn't want to say this in front of Elsa, that hat makes you look like a girl." Kristoff whispered.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Hans asked.

"Oh, well, um, you're uhh...you're beautiful." Kristoff stuttered.

They both turned and saw Anna wincing at what Kristoff just said. Hans bursted out laughing.

###

"It's Hans. What's he doing here?" Kristoff asked from behind a tombstone.

Hans entered the cemetery, holding flowers. He placed them in front of a tombstone and walked away, wiping several tears. Kristoff came out from his hiding spot to see what the tomb said.

He read aloud. "Here lies Hans's hopes and dreams."

Kristoff frowned. "What a baby."


End file.
